Tuesday, June 29, 2010

You might be married to Burt if......

I was talking to my husband the other evening, and I noticed a certain eerie resemblance between him and the character of Burt in the iconic survival flick "Tremors".  Now, I am not advocating that you run out and see the movie (it has terrible language, for starters), but for those of you who have seen it, these comparisons will give you a glimpse into our lives!

As I listened to myself and my husband talk, I noticed some startling discoveries.  Here are some of my observations.

You might be married to Burt if........

1.  Your idea of buying precious metals is investing not in gold and silver but in lead and brass.

2.  You actually believe that "Dillion Blue" is an acceptable living room color.

3.  You think a Barrett Light .50 is a nice carry piece.

4.  You know that "plastic is not an oxygen barrier".

5.  Your pastor's entire survival plan is making it to your house alive.

6.  You know the difference between a magazine and a clip.

7.  You find you really are attracted to Hoppe's #9.

8.  Your idea of a "dirty magazine" has nothing to do with nude women.

9.  You think an MRE is one of the four food groups.

10. When looking at real estate, your first requirement is "geographic isolation".

11.  You know the difference between standard "hollow points" and "Hydra-shock hollow points"

12.  You stock supplies of "a few household chemicals in the proper proportions".

13.  You don't count ammunition by rounds, but by cases.

14.  Your favorite color is OD (Olive Drab if you have to ask).

15. When company comes over, your first thought is "troop rations".

So, there you have it.  I think I am married to Burt!


  1. HA! I especially love number 5. That would SO be me and my husband.

    Idaho is a little far from New England, though, so I guess we'd better come up with a Plan B.

  2. Wahg! Enola Gay!
    My sides are hurting from laughing so....
    with empathy!

    What a great post!

  3. "(it has terrible language, for starters)"
    When the SHTF - you DO know what that S stands for??
    When you see "OMG", do you have the vapors?

  4. As a matter of fact, I DO like Hoppe's #9! It's a great lube, too!

  5. That was great! This is my first time stopping by your blog, but it won't be the last!

    I especially liked numbers 7, 8, & 10!

  6. LOL!

    Great list. Now if they only had Hoppes #9 perfume. I'd buy it for my wife.

  7. Loved the movie and especially liked Bert in action. The Reba character was pretty good, too. Their basement/bunker is on my wish list.

    You might be married to Bert...
    If you know a peep sight has nothing to do with voyeurism.
    If you vacation at the Whittington Center.
    If you keep a bugout bag in your ATV.

  8. Hey. Love your blog. But I sure miss your oldest daughter - The Trauma Queen's blog!! Is she taking a break or is it down permanently??


  9. I've been missing the Trauma Queen, also.

    I only wish I'd married a Bert.


  10. I guess I can not enter for I do not know whom "Burt" is or what he says or said We have not watched TV in over 12 years...or been to a movie house since the tickets were only 3$ So Good Luck all