Monday, December 20, 2010

Lambs to the slaughter

There is no excuse.  We may call it a culture gone bad, or place the blame on inadequate parenting, but really, each individual is ultimately responsible for their own actions.

Recently, a horrific series of stories ran in an area newspaper detailing the squalid living conditions and unmentionable abuses suffered by one year old twin girls, at the hands of the one person on earth designed to be their protector - their mother.  It seems, that the baby girls were a "handful", so rather than deal with the daily ins and outs of parenting, this mother just disconnected.  She put earbuds in her ears, plugged into her video games and lost hours to selfish indulgence, while her infant daughters screamed, scratched at the door and smeared fecal material all over the walls and floors.  On the occasion that she wasn't plugged into her games and she (and her mother, the children's Grandmother, who lived with them) was forced to listen to their pitiful wailings and pounding on the walls, she devised a clever solution to lessen the noise.  She simply hung couch cushions at one year old arm reach, so that their little fists were at least muffled.

The police had been called many times, with reports of children screaming, however, they were never able to anything from an apparent lack of evidence.  Not until a passerby saw the two little naked girls cuddled up next to each other in a fecal strewn room and called the police that the girls were finally removed from their home.  When the police arrived at the apartment, the stench was so horrible that one of the officers left the room to wretch.  The mother, in an attempt to tell the identical twins apart from one another, lifted their shirts and identified them through their injuries.

My heart was rent for these helpless little girls.  To be hurt by the people God put in your life to protect you in unconscionable.  But the more I thought about these little girls, the more I thought about bummer lambs.

Bummer lambs are lambs that have been orphaned or their mother has rejected them for one reason or another.  They actually have a very good survivability rate when properly cared for, but there is one insurmountable obstacle for them to overcome in adulthood.  They have no idea how to mother.  If you are raising a bummer lamb for meat, this is never an issue, however, if you intend to breed the lamb and raise little lambs, you will have your work cut out for you.  The bummer lamb (now a sheep) will give birth and just walk away.  They won't care for their newborn - they will just leave it there to die.  They have no natural instincts.  Having no mother to care for them, they have no concept of caring for their lamb.  Teaching these new mothers to care for their young requires constant, intense instruction and intervention.  And even then, sometimes it doesn't "take".

As I look at our current culture, I see we now have generation after generation of motherless lambs. Sure, there may be a physical mother present, but are the mothers truly mothering?  Many mothers, for one reason or another, send their little lambs off to daycare, Head Start or preschool for their earliest introduction to this world as we know it.  Can a teacher or "daytime care provider" take the place of a mother?  Does a "daytime care provider" have the time or the propensity to teach a child how to respectfully address and adult or settle a conflict with another child?  Will a tiny baby be able to be snuggled and reassured at the breast of its mother while in daycare?  Will a day care provider take the time to champion every small accomplishment of a child's earliest years?  Of course not, only a mother can do that!  Children need a mother - not a "daytime care giver".

When mothers get in the habit of foisting their children off on some care giver or another, society as a whole begins to lose entire generations.  Mothers, never having mothered, have no idea how to care for children.  Those children grow and become mothers themselves.  They have even less of an idea than their mothers before them.  Little girls have replaced baby dolls and tea parties with laptops and cell phones.  No longer do they play "house" - getting things ready for "daddy", they play corporate executive getting ready for the big presentation.  Schools fill up with troubled children, diagnosed with various attention and psychological disorders, ER's fill up injuries and illnesses that were, a generation or two ago, taken care of by mom, at home.  Families become disconnected, girls become pregnant and boys become lazy and angry.  Why - because we have bought the lie that mothering is "beneath" us.  We have forsaken our high calling as wives and mothers and swallowed, hook, line and sinker, the notion that our highest calling is that of serving men other than our husbands and mentoring people other than our children.

We have been like sheep, heeding the voice of an impostor Shepard and our children have paid the price.  As we abdicate our blessed call as mothers, we have sacrificed our children like lambs to the slaughter.

The little lambs, cold, crying and naked - lying on the floor of their fecal strewn apartment are victims of a society that no longer values mothers, father or families.  They are our tragic future - unless we reclaim our rightful throne in the heart of the family.


  1. So right, Enola.

    Although I keep hoping and praying that we can salvage our country, the problems seem overwhelming at times. People need to be held accountable for their actions and be responsible for their choices. Until they are, we won't see any improvement. Just as unemployment benefits perpetuate unemployment, so do entitlements encourage lack of personal responsibility. No doubt this woman didn't work and was receiving some type of handout so she could stay home and ignore her daughters.

    That mother needs to be imprisoned so she cannot have another child to abuse. And where in the world is the twins' father? The whole thing is just inexcusable and unfathomable. How will those little girls ever recover from such early trauma? I think they are ruined forever, sadly. They will have psychological problems for the rest of their lives.

    NoCal Gal

  2. Well Said!! Well Said!! The family has lost all value in society today. :( Oh I could write a novel of comment on this, but lets just say...I agree 100%. Coming soon....NWO! Destroying the structure of the family, destroying the quality of food, destroying the ideas that people once had about personal freedom little by little so that we can be led to slaughter just as you say....very very sad! Really love this! again...WELL SAID! --Sara :)

  3. Um, wow! I did not know that about bummer sheep. It makes a lot of sense to me. What you wrote is just heartbreaking and so true!

    Also, there are a lot of mothers who are in the home and not there, so to speak, with the advent of the internet, message boards, blogs, facebook, etc. They are the new HeadStart, daycare, etc.

    This problem that this mother was doing to her children, is being done behind closed doors everywhere and it will get worse and not better with each passing generation.

  4. I don't believe mother's who send their children to childcare are to blame for society's problems. It seems you are using them for scapegoats here. Especially when you are not holding men accountable for their lack of responsibility towards raising their children correctly. Apparently, because the mother carries the child, society has determined she ultimately is responsible for raising the child, with regards to financial, social and educational upbringing. Apparently, the father is not expected to have responsibility if he chooses to take up with other women, refuse to get a job or have anything to do with his child.

    I don't buy it. Men are just as responsible as women and it makes me very angry that they are not held accountable.

    But the problem of today's society is so much more complex:

    We have a letigious, petty society in America. A society where if you don't take your children to the doctor, it is possible welfare agencies may be called.

    We live in a society where our leadership attempts to instill fear. And bleeding heart open-minded lazy liberals (I realize that's name-calling but I do NOT apologize for it) prefer our government tell us what to do so we are "safe". They also expect the government to take away independent individuals' right to live as they see fit, and make decisions for their families health, moral compasses, and educational upbringing. Oh yes, and they expect welfare, I mean without it however would they have time to cry about all the things wrong with conservative people who make an honest living and sensible decisions?

    Public education, where it is okay for Muslims to practice Islam, but Christians are not allowed to bring their faith in God and Jesus to school. And Heaven forbid we should disagree with the falsified evidence provided by Darwin in favor of evolution. That word leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

    No - the problem with society isn't that mother's take their children to childcare. The problem is LAZINESS. Period. Lazy people don't want to work, don't want to fight for their freedom, don't want to act in accordance with Jesus' teachings, and want someone else to educate their children and provide their daily bread for them. They do not want to take responsibility for the happenings in their life and expect the government to do it for them.

    So the liberal media influences the government and chants a mantra that says sex is ok, greed is okay, an anyone who disagrees with a conservative viewpoint is a moron. And lazy people with the inability to think for themselves are caught - hook, line and sinker.

    Then they elect a liberal government and so the cycle continues, getting worse every time.

    It has very little to do with mothers who send their children to outside care. I did, but I can assure you I practiced parental responsibility, and my son KNOWS about virtues, the difference between right and wrong, good and evil, and has a solid faith in God and Jesus. He is generous, takes care of me when I am sick, wants others to be happy, and is willing to work - especially if it's something he enjoys, of course. I'm not lazy, I work hard, but I had to work. That does not mean my son was ignored or went to childcare because it was cheap. No - he received excellent care from the facilities I RESEARCHED and chose for him, and formed bonds with almost all of his providers. He loved them, and they loved him. And learned that it takes a village.

    I will be interested in your response.

  5. Not only was I "raised" in daycare, but I also worked in daycare facilities for awhile (until I was too saddened to continue) so the comments by Building actually amused me greatly.

    Most daycares are not about providing the best care but making MONEY! They of course want to keep parents happy because if they don't the parents walk away, but most workers are there because they need MONEY. Not because they oh so love your children. They would never say that, they always put on a sweet loving face when the parents show up. And I'm not saying that they abuse your kids. They just dont care if your children are moral good human beings.

    It is not their responsobility to teach your kid right from wrong, and they do not care. Nor can they do any thing about a kid who is mean, violent, or cruel. The most that child will get for biting hitting or cursing is a time out. And kids learn real quick that they can get away with anything!

    In fact daycare teaches kids to be agressive and defensive in life. Look at the average daycare. One adult to 5 toddlers! Anyone who has had to take care of 5 toddlers at once can tell you that it's not "care" it's warehousing. You are generally reacting to situations, not preventing them because you just can't be in 5 places at once. So children learn to take toys they want and hit and push to keep the other toddlers at bay. They learn that the only child that gets attention is the one who crys and screams. The quite ones get ignored.

    And it's even worse for infants. One worker to every 4 babies. And the only babies that get cared for and interacted with are the screamers. The quite ones are left alone except at feeding and diaper times. It's not the workers fault, they just dont have time to give the ones not screaming interaction. Think of having quads and you'll know what I mean.

    The thing I took away from being "raised" in daycare, and then working in it is that I never wanted my children in it. I want my children to be raised with a mommy who loves them, but also teaches them what is good and right.

    We as women have the responsobility to care for our own children. They are not pets! And even the most staunch daycare advocate will admit that she would love and care for her children better than a nanny or daycare worker.

    Men do indeed have responsibilty for caring for children but I can not count the amount of times the moms I workerd for would come in after the weekend and gladly hand the child over saying "God I'm so glad to get back to work, I would never be a stay at home mom!"

    How sad! Why do they even bother having children?

  6. Beth;

    Interestingly, I mostly agree with you. However, I was not trying to address all of our social ills at one sitting. There are so many facets involved in the problems our society faces, that it would take a much better person than me to sort them all out.

    I unequivocally believe that men are responsible for their children. In fact, biblically, it will be the fathers that stand before God with the greatest responsibility. However, I wasn't addressing fathers here - just mothers. I don't believe that "society" has determined that mothers have responsibility for their children, God did that. Not that Fathers aren't responsible - heaven forbid! No, but mothers do have the most day to day influence over their children. Fathers, even fathers that haven't "checked out" are usually gone to work, or to war or off being a provider and protector, so the everyday raising of children has always fallen squarely on the shoulders of mothers.

    I, too, put my oldest daughter in daycare, but it is one of my great regrets. It wasn't that she didn't have fine providers - it was that they weren't me! It was my approval and attention she craved, not theirs. It was my responsibility to see that she became a godly young woman, not theirs.

    I do know that there are circumstances when women have no choice but to find care for their children. However, I also know many women who have made impossible decisions solely so they could raise their children themselves. One friend of mine chose to live with her mother and step-father when she was widowed so that she could raise and school her own children. The circumstances were less than ideal, and it was a great sacrifice for her, but she did it without complain so that SHE could raise her own children.

    No - men are not without responsibility - but that is another post altogether. But God designed women to stand in the gap for their children. Every social ill cannot be laid at women's' feet, however, we must be responsible for the role that God gave us. We must take responsibility for what we have been called to do, regardless of whether or not other people are doing their jobs. God will deal with everyone else on His terms, but I darn well had better be doing what he told ME to do!


  7. "We have been like sheep..." is so true & the little lamb's future has been sold out with bankruptcy thanks to our corrupt politicians.

    Just read a new book that's a must read for everyone cause it's about Americans finally taking a stand against federal tyranny & martial law. It's a must read & recommend it.

    @Chloris is right...daycare centers are not good for our children. They don't get love...only how to survive. There's really no humanity to them & we need that now.

    Great article!!

  8. Enola Gay,

    This is an excellent post. I totally agree that our society today places no value on mothers, fathers or families. And I also agree that a mother's role is not the same as a father's role with their children. Our society is suffering terribly from the downfall and disintegration of the family unit. It's heartbreaking and discouraging, to say the least.

    I am so glad you are giving voice to these very important topics on your blog.

    Keep up the good work!!

    Mara :)

  9. This is (unfortunately), a great post.

  10. Enola,

    Thank you for your response. I put my son in care but I will admit I have an incredible amount of parental guilt at not being able to spend most of my time with him and teach him the way I thought would be most beneficial to him.

    The other thing is, I run a home daycare. My kids love coming (I think I've said it before) here! I suppose I have very high standards for myself, and my goals with the children is to teach them the virtues - patience, honesty, caring & kindness, integrity, etc. I can be very strict but I pass out endless hugs and kisses. I do research when one of my kids has a disability so I can take the steps necessary for their social and educational growth, and make sure they feel they are a part of the family. Is it my responsibility? No, but I feel in my position I need to provide them the best environment possible while they are away from their parents. I have some school kids these couple of weeks - and just yesterday I taught them basic machine sewing, my hands over theirs! (An idea I got from your blog, actually, and thank you!)

    I have also been busting my rear finishing up their handmade Christmas presents - portable train playmats.

    I realize I can't replace mom, but hope the kids will still think of me as family. After all, if moms were leaving the kids with grandma, or their sisters, moms still wouldn't be there but it's more acceptable. So I try to fill a role more like that.

    I forget not all daycares do that. I have to try to remember not to be so defensive in the future. But for all mothers to stay home (as far as is logically possible, there are exceptions to everything), society has to stop being so greedy. And since businesses make money off of greed, I don't see it happening any time soon.

    We have a battle, and it has been foretold we will be ridiculed and spat upon. This is just one aspect of it.

    And thank you, for your response.


  11. Wow. Excuse me, but your assumptions of PARENTS who send their children to daycare are absolute nonsense and very offensive. Many daycare providers are WONDERFUL and they truly do provide a home away from home. They care about the children and treat them like they would their own children. And parents (yes, the mother AND the father) who send their children to daycare are just as good as other parents who stay home with their children. For you to assume parents who send children to daycare are lazy or uncaring is just plain ignorant.