Sunday, April 17, 2011
So many times, as adults, we make things too complicated. We are selfish, greedy and want things our own way and our judgement becomes clouded because of our own self-centered desires. Although we talk of great faith, our lack of faith becomes evident in our murmurings.
The bible talks of a simple, child-like faith. A faith so pure and complete that it can move mountains and the very hand of God. It talks of a faith that I long to possess. But I am bound by selfishness, logic and reason. My faith is often limited by how I feel versus what I know. My faith is weak.
I came face-to-face with perfect, child-like faith while teasing my young daughter, Princess Dragon Snack. Dragon Snack's birthday is coming up, and in honor of this great event, we bought her a bed - her very own, first bed. Oh, she has always had a place to sleep, but not really a bed of her own. First, of course, she slept in a crib. Then she graduated to sleeping with her big sister. Eventually she moved into a toddler bed and then, after outgrowing the toddler bed, rested her head on an old, military cot bed. For her upcoming birthday, we bought her a beautiful, shabby, antique "princess" bed. It has a gorgeous shape and fading but ageless beauty that we thought would be perfect for our precious treasure.
Maid Elizabeth and I snuck away to town to retrieve Dragon Snack's surprise and came home with her new treasure tucked securely in the back of the truck. Princess Dragon Snack knew nothing of her surprise and I had to think of something to tell her as to why we were taking down her military cot. I called her to me, and in a most somber voice, told her that we were going to have to take her bed down. She would now be reduced to sleeping on the floor. She looked at me with her huge blue eye, searched me questioningly and asked "why, mama?". I told her that after trading up to the military cot, I had determined that we just didn't have the room for her bed any longer. She would now have to sleep on the floor, "but don't worry" I reassured her, "I will give you a sleeping bag to sleep in". Her face sparkled. She threw her arms around me saying "thank you, thank you, thank you" and danced off singing "I get to sleep in a sleeping bag, I get to sleep in a sleeping bag!". She was thrilled. I sat there dumbfounded. I had just informed my young daughter that I was taking her bed away, reducing her to sleeping on the floor and she kissed me and thanked me for it. She had absolute faith that I was doing the right thing! It didn't even occur to her to be upset about losing her bed - she was thrilled that I was giving her a sleeping bag.
In that moment, God humbled me. I have fussed and complained over more circumstances than I care to admit. I have questioned God's providence and even His love for me. I have murmured about my situation and have wallowed in the depths of despair. I have been a child of little faith. Princess Dragon Snack trusted me with the perfect faith of a child. A faith that knew I would only do what was best for her. A faith that reveled in whatever circumstances she found herself in, knowing those circumstances came from loving parents. A perfect, child-like faith. My daughter had the faith that I wanted.
The thrill at being allowed to sleep in a sleeping bag was only dimmed by the unveiling of her new "Princess" bed. Sleeping bag forgotten, she danced for joy when she saw her shabby birthday present. It was all she had ever wanted, and more, she said. The reality is that it was not Princess Dragon Snack who received a present that day, it was me. She showed me perfect faith. She gave me the gift of glimpsing the faith that can move mountains. She showed me child-like faith.