Sunday, December 4, 2011
Confessions of a Kool-Aid addict
A couple of weeks ago, a feminist blog picked up one of my posts (a post that was decidedly anti-feminist) and pleaded with me, saying "Enola, please, don't drink the Kool-Aid"! I cracked up - thinking, "If only they knew"......
I grew up in a rabidly feministic generation. My education (at public schools) groomed me take my place among the highly intelligent women of the day, slaying the dragon of "the chauvinistic, controlling, male-dominated society" that was chaining women to the drudgery of home and hearth. Our goal was clear - to put men in their place. Gone were the days when women would be trapped in "abusive" marriages, forced to wipe the snotty noses of whining children and clean up after a man, whose only redeeming quality was his XY chromosome. Freeing the bonds of tyranny with which men had enslaved women depended on me and my fellow "enlightened" women.
After I left school, I embarked on my journey to the promised land. I was promised a land flowing with milk and honey - working at a "fulfilling, meaningful" job during the day (making money hand over fist) and enjoying domestic bliss on the weekends and evenings. I could achieve perfection. I would be able to utilize my intelligence, reviewing legislation and working as a legislative liaison, while my child was being guided and taught by a "professional". My husband could very well clean the house and start dinner, after all, weren't we "equal" partners?
With all of the feminist promises being fulfilled, why did I feel so empty? Why did I go to work day after day with the thought "there has to be more to life than this"? Why did I feel guilty every time I dropped my daughter off "at the best pre-school" in town and every time my husband came home to a cold, lifeless house? Why did it seem completely backward when I put my boss's requests before my own husbands? Why did I feel chained to my job, when working outside the home was supposed to set me free?
Awards, certificates and professional accolades came and with them the feeling of emptiness grew. By the measure of the world, I was successful, but there was a gnawing hole in my soul that longed to be filled.
Sir Knight and I bought a house and moved to a small neighborhood north of Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. As we got to know our neighbors, one family really intrigued us. This family had four children, three of which still lived at home. Their children were so nice, polite and respectful that it caught us a little off guard. They called us Mr. and Mrs. and when we visited with their parents, they quietly listened, only interjecting when they had something important to add. They didn't hide themselves away, playing video games or watching television - in fact, they would take our little girl and actually play with her (they were 6 years and more her senior).
Joy, the mom, seemed to have a quiet peace about her. I used to show up at her doorstep, unannounced, just to see what she was doing. She seemed to always have a tidy house, always have something just coming out of the oven and always had time for tea and a visit. Oh, and she homeschooled her children, raised a huge garden, milked a cow, had chickens, ground her own grain for bread - the list went on and on. She was intelligent, well-spoken and ran her household in a manner that would be the envy of most CEO's. I was drawn to her like a moth to a flame.
After knowing Joy, her husband and her children for about 6 months, Sir Knight and I decided it was time for me to quit my job. With fear and trepidation, I gave my two weeks notice. I pulled my daughter out of "the best" pre-school and started ordering homeschool books.
For the first six months of my new life, I was at a bit of a loss. My mother had always worked. In fact, every women I had ever known had held down a job. My thoughts regarding housewives had always been less than flattering and it was hard for me to admit that I had joined their ranks. And so I turned to Joy. I watched her as she spoke to her children. I watched her as she served her husband. I watched her as she worked in her garden, milked her cow, made cheese and butter and bread. I watched her as she provided hospitality, cared for her aging relatives and worked through family heartbreak. I watched her as she stumbled on her walk with her God and I watched her as she picked herself up and courageously marched on. I watched - and I learned.
The more I served my husband and my children as a wife and mother, the more peaceful I became. I no longer struggled to serve two masters - I served only those who God told me to serve. Gone were the tears as I separated myself from my little girl every day. Gone were days when my husband came home to a cold, lifeless home. Our home was alive! It was filled with warmth, goodness and life.
After throwing off the chains of feminism, I began to wonder what other lies I had believed. I began to question and search. The more Sir Knight and I questioned, the more our lives changed. We began to take more responsibility for our family. In our taking responsibility, we bucked the system. We found that taking responsibility was in fact, taking the road less traveled.
In the end, it was the rejection of feminism that has brought us to the point we are today. Had I continued to work, we would never have moved to a shop in the middle of a prairie. We would never have lived off the grid, homeschooled our children or had babies at home. We wouldn't have dug into the bible and come to believe EVERY word. We wouldn't have made the choice to live our lives for other people instead of ourselves. If we hadn't rejected feminism, I would, in fact, be a slave to the master "career".
I look around, thankful not be a slave to feminism. I see so clearly where feminism has deposited modern civilization. Women no longer have the protection of their husbands. Families are left broken and exposed. Children grow up without knowing a loving father and women are reduced to being little more than wards of the State.
The unfortunate consequence of radical feminism has been the destruction of families - the first and best safety net for humanity. In our desire to be "equal", women have gotten more than we bargained for - now not only do we have the responsibilities God gave to women, we have the responsibilities he gave to men also. What we thought would free us has actually wrapped us in chains of bondage.
So, yes, I am addicted to Kool-Aid. I believe that the bible is the unerring word of God. I believe that EVERY word in it is true. I believe that women should be keepers at home. I believe that women should be obedient to their own husband. I believe that the man is the head of women and that Christ is the head of man. And if that is what you call Kool-Aid - bring it on!